I like the sense of this city being 'ancient' as reflected in some of the images on your influence map. I'f I'm being honest, there is a slight sense that you've got too many components mashed together in your final scene. It feels a bit like someone has emptied their Brancusi-themed Lego kit into a valley and left it there. The temple building feels like it has the least to do with your artist, and anyway it's nearly completely covered up by everything else - and by that red 'L-shaped' structure that I don't quite understand. Compositionally, it's all in a bit of muddle, and I suggest you have another go and just try and sort things out down there. Ask yourself what is 'the star' of the show, and compose the image to ensure our attention is pushed towards it.
The other issue you need to address I think is ensuring that we understand these elements to be actual buildings. I don't think you can yet call your building designs 'production art', because they don't fully represent your intentions; I'm looking at the windows and doorways etc, and they're basically just daubs, as opposed to details. There's a level of finesse you're not engaging with yet and I'd like you to roll up your sleeves and have a go - look at these thumbnails for an example of what I mean:
In terms of your buildings - you big tower blocks for example, I'l like you to again just look at some real world architectural reference, t help you crisp up the level of detail in terms of moving these on from being thumbnails to something more production-ready:
Finally, in terms of composition, I know you're using Maya to assist you in visualisation, so if you're using the technique, can I suggest that you try out a few more camera views? It does seem to me that this establishing-style shot is maybe not as impactful as a shot from within the city might be? Right now, it's hard to experience the scale of this area - it sort of looks no bigger than Stone Henge. In terms of your matte painting, it does feel as if you're missing an opportunity to expand the scale of this city; at the moment, the backdrop is making your 'city' feel like a couple of monuments; the challenge of using the matte painting is to use it as set extension, so maybe consider using it to show us more of your city and create a greater sense of this place being big and expansive, as opposed to marooned in a valley.
OGR 19/11/2015
ReplyDeleteHi Ian,
I like the sense of this city being 'ancient' as reflected in some of the images on your influence map. I'f I'm being honest, there is a slight sense that you've got too many components mashed together in your final scene. It feels a bit like someone has emptied their Brancusi-themed Lego kit into a valley and left it there. The temple building feels like it has the least to do with your artist, and anyway it's nearly completely covered up by everything else - and by that red 'L-shaped' structure that I don't quite understand. Compositionally, it's all in a bit of muddle, and I suggest you have another go and just try and sort things out down there. Ask yourself what is 'the star' of the show, and compose the image to ensure our attention is pushed towards it.
The other issue you need to address I think is ensuring that we understand these elements to be actual buildings. I don't think you can yet call your building designs 'production art', because they don't fully represent your intentions; I'm looking at the windows and doorways etc, and they're basically just daubs, as opposed to details. There's a level of finesse you're not engaging with yet and I'd like you to roll up your sleeves and have a go - look at these thumbnails for an example of what I mean:
http://espence-animation.blogspot.co.uk/2015/11/what-if-metropolis-final-building.html
In terms of your buildings - you big tower blocks for example, I'l like you to again just look at some real world architectural reference, t help you crisp up the level of detail in terms of moving these on from being thumbnails to something more production-ready:
http://static.dezeen.com/uploads/2015/05/Residential-tower-in-Paris-by-Hamonic-and-Masson-and-Associes-and-Comte-Vollenweider-photo-Takuji-Shimmura_dezeen_SQ01.jpg
http://static.dezeen.com/uploads/2014/03/White-Tree-in-Montpellier-by-Sou-Fujimoto_dezeen_10.jpg
https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/736x/44/79/07/447907ac56916a84244ded47ef5c3b0b.jpg
http://static.dezeen.com/uploads/2013/04/Dezeen_Lot-2-Jardins-de-la-Lironde-by-Farshid-Moussavi-Architecture_2.jpg
Finally, in terms of composition, I know you're using Maya to assist you in visualisation, so if you're using the technique, can I suggest that you try out a few more camera views? It does seem to me that this establishing-style shot is maybe not as impactful as a shot from within the city might be? Right now, it's hard to experience the scale of this area - it sort of looks no bigger than Stone Henge. In terms of your matte painting, it does feel as if you're missing an opportunity to expand the scale of this city; at the moment, the backdrop is making your 'city' feel like a couple of monuments; the challenge of using the matte painting is to use it as set extension, so maybe consider using it to show us more of your city and create a greater sense of this place being big and expansive, as opposed to marooned in a valley.