OGR 04/02/2016Hi Ian,So - your script works, your idea is sound, and by squinting, I could just about make out your storyboard, which in the most basic way, communicates your story. My feedback is going to be about QUALITY, Ian. I think you're showing good story instincts and your script (give or take a bunch of spelling mistakes [colonies not *colonys* for example]) is fun, and with a bit more polish and attention to action movie tropes, could stand up as a nice pastiche of favourite films - BUT - your drawing/design/visual communication/toolset is letting you down very badly. I know drawing isn't your strength at this stage, but unless you're practising, trying new things, and changing up your approach, it's always going to be a weakness. Your ant character designs are too basic, Ian - I'm sorry to be so blunt, but they are - and I can't help feeling that continuing to work with a hard little pencil on small pages in small sketchbooks is contributing to your difficulty. You were introduced last term to Sketch Book Pro, which is a simpler version of Photoshop, distinguished further by useful tools which help you to draw cleanly and neatly. I want you to give up on that hard little pencil of yours and move onto working digitally. I want you to try new ways of constructing characters and translating your imagination onto the page more successfully. Pick up the graphics tablet again - practise with it, Ian - identify different ways of working. Be practical about it - acquire some new knowledge on the subject. If you go onto myUCA you'll find a bunch of 'how to draw characters' resources under the FSTS link - go look at them. True, they won't show you how to draw an ant archeologist, but they will show you how to think about characters in terms of simpler shapes. In short, I want to see you trying out some different approaches to design and working up your designs; likewise, when it comes to your environment design etc, I don't want to see you nervously sketching faint little shapes, I want to see you trying new techniques; use the shape tools in Photoshop, for example; use some of the collaging techniques Jordan showed you last term - do something differently, Ian, because you're stuck drawing in a way that isn't up to the challenge of showing me what you're actually imagining. The brief asks you to create a presentation storyboard (alongside everything else) and this means a storyboard that you'd be happy to show a client. You don't need me to tell you that your current storyboard (though making good use of storyboard conventions) is up to scratch in this respect. Your big mission as you think about this submission is to think about the quality of your work and how other people are perceiving it. This isn't an ideas or creativity issue - it's an issue of you being inexperienced in terms of visual communication. Ian - you have to acknowledge this plainly - and then do something about it.So - a new rule for you: no more pencil, no more poor scans of faint drawings: find another way to get this done and show me what you're really imagining when you think about this story.